


If only I could see you

by Blanc_Tide



Category: Final Fantasy Type-0
Genre: Allegory, Amnesia, Angst, Last words, M/M, Machina/Ace at the end, One Shot, Plane Crash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-12
Updated: 2017-01-12
Packaged: 2018-09-17 02:55:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9300971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blanc_Tide/pseuds/Blanc_Tide
Summary: In order to make Ace happy for Christmas they secretly send a plane ticket to his boyfriend, Kurasame, when a plane accident occurs.





	

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: This story is sort of based on a true story with details changed. My relative died though not on Christmas but after Thanksgiving. So in a way I am telling you what happened though in a different way.

It was a cold week with Christmas in 4 days to be exact, as the airport was filled with people hurrying to get on their flights, arguing with the receptionists about their delayed flights, and others getting on with bags full of presents in tow.  
But on one flight to be going in merely 10 minutes, was a group of 3 older people waving goodbye to one.  
“You’re really going to go Kurasame?” Emina asked as the man named Kurasame nodded.  
“It’s going to be the first time in 6 months that I see Ace, he’ll be surprised.” Kurasame stated as the friend with glasses named Kazusa decided to interrupt the same conversation that the two had earlier.  
“Emina, you know Kurasame’s going to miss his flight if we hold him back any longer, so let’s wave goodbye and hold Kurasame hostage if we don’t one phone call from him or a picture of him and Ace once he arrives.” Kazusa said, before Emina unwillingly nodded.  
Kazusa and Emina waved goodbye as Kurasame turned to hand in his plane ticket and spared them one last look before walking down the hall to the entrance of the plane.  
Once in the warm plane, already half full of tired passengers, Kurasame sat into his assigned seat after tossing his suitcase into the baggage compartment, Kurasame pulled out a lone photograph that showed Ace and himself on Ace’s graduation day before smiling quietly to himself.  
“Soon Ace, soon.” Kurasame said as he placed the other free hand in his pocket, gripping a tiny package that rested inside.  
****************************  
“Ace, look forward to Christmas.” Machina, Ace’s best friend said, as Ace scrubbed the counter to the local coffee shop he worked at after it had closed early for Christmas Eve.  
“Machina…..what’re you up to?” Ace asked, eyeing the other boy suspiciously.  
Machina held his hands up in mock surrender, “Woah, I didn’t do anything bad this time……besides everyone else helped me to make it happen.”  
Ace eyed Machina once more who ruffled his hair and changing the topic to the New Year’s Party that Seven would be responsible for this year, each year the former Class Zero students would host a New Year’s Party.   
When Ace hosted the party, Nine had brought two packs of beer and the result ended with Trey and Eight trying to sing karaoke, Cater on the roof, Rem in the bathtub with glitter instead of water, Seven and Sice making out until 3 in the morning, King and Nine prank calling the pizza place nearby trying to order condoms or something like that, Machina clinging to him like he was his lifeline, Cinque and Deuce egging a nearby house the result was something no one wanted to remember, Queen and Jack arguing that penguins caused global warming, and Ace having to skype his boyfriend to ask how to get rid of hangovers that they all would soon have to nurse.  
Let’s just say over the Skype call, Kurasame wasn’t happy to see Machina hugging Ace like a toddler to a stuffed animal declaring how much he loved him, and that it was 2 am in the morning and Kurasame had work but always took time just to speak to Ace.  
Surprisingly despite the age gap between the two, they had kept a long distance relationship for over 2 years and had only seen each other when Ace graduated from school. Which was sad because as soon as Ace and him had some alone time, a call came and he had to automatically go back to his work place which was located on the other side of the world.  
He only left with a photo of Ace and himself on Ace’s graduation day, and a good bye kiss with a promise to stay longer next time.  
“Ace are you listening?” Machina asked as he saw the dazed expression on Ace’s face, deciding to snap Ace out of it by doing what only best friends as close as him and Ace do, kissing his cheek.  
Automatically Ace snapped out of it and flicked Machina on his forehead before speaking, “Sorry I wasn’t listening Machina, can you repeat that?”  
Machina gave a reluctant sigh but, repeated what he was saying when Ace was dazed off.  
A call from Machina’s cell phone stopped Machina who checked his phone.  
“Oh it’s Rem. I wonder what this is about.” Machina said, acknowledging his childhood friend and wiping his finger to allow the call.  
Ace watched Machina fall from pleasant to dreadful as he listened to Rem speak.  
“Rem you’ve got to be- No why of all. It’s all over the news? What happened? Don’t tell me it’s his-. I can’t, Ace is here with me….we can’t discuss this here……..” Machina was speaking almost hesitantly which Ace picked up.  
“Machina did something happen?” Ace asked.  
Machina looked at Ace, and frantically said goodbye to Rem as he turned on the coffee shop’s radio ignoring Ace’s question.  
“As of 10:03 pm a crash has been reported of Plane XXX on its way to XXX, 50 or more of the 90 passengers are said to be dead, the cause of the crash is said to be of an engine explosion. Police and firemen are at the scene accompanied by ambulance in desperate searching for survivors.” The announcer on the radio spoke as Ace looked at Machina confusion on why his friend would want to listen to a tragedy before Christmas.   
Machina clicked off the radio before saying, “Ace we’re going, close up the shop we’re going.”  
Ace was about to question him again before Machina silenced him with a gesture that said we’ll speak about this later and Ace did what he was told.  
Machina dragged Ace to his car, and drove fast to Rem’s house.  
The kind-hearted girl was sitting with Deuce both with worried looks on their face as Machina entered with Ace in tow.  
“Can someone tell me what’s going on?” Ace asked as Deuce looked at Ace as if his puppy had died.  
“Ace……We’re sorry but, your boyfriend was in that plane crash.” Deuce spoke as she stared down at her tea mug that she clenched in her hands.  
Ace’s world shattered, he paled and spoke so low that it took everyone a few minutes to comprehend, “You’re joking right? Kurasame would’ve told me if he was coming for Christmas……this is a bad joke by Nine right? Kurasame can’t be dead right?”  
Rem looked down and Machina spoke up, “Ace listen, we asked Kurasame to come over for Christmas, we told him it would make you happy and he complied, heck even Seven and Sice sent him a plane ticket just so you two could be together……we wanted to surprise you so much since you’ve been so down lately…….”   
Ace stared at him before looking at the two girls watching him.  
Ace fell to his knees as Machina crouched to his level and held Ace who cried into his shoulder, muttering “Why him? Why before Christmas? Why?”  
Deuce and Rem got down near Ace, Deuce rubbing Ace’s back as the boy let out strangled sobs and Rem crying with him as Machina held Ace remembering that Kurasame used to do this to Ace whenever he was crestfallen.  
*****  
An unexpected call from Seven at 4 am in the morning drove the 4 sleeping over at Rem’s house to wake up.   
Ace rubbed his eyes as Rem picked up the phone and automatically called Ace over after a few minutes.   
He picked up the phone and Seven automatically started talking, “Ace, you’ll never guess what happened.”  
“Nine finally acknowledged he had anger issues?” Ace asked, trying to be funny even though his heart ached.  
“Sadly no, but Sice and I found him. He’s in the hospital just down the road of the coffee shop you work at.” Seven replied as Ace felt hope rising up.  
“Really? Can I go see him? How is he?” Ace asked excitedly as Deuce tried to listen in over Ace’s shoulder.  
“Sure, but you’re going to have to fight the clerk at the front desk, apparently no one is allowed to see the plane crash survivors.”  
Ace smiled and told Machina to get the car started as Ace thanked Seven before hanging up.   
All four filed in the car and drove to the hospital. With Deuce humming with the holiday music playing on the radio, Rem tapping anxiously on the seat, Ace trying to contain his happiness, and Machina trying not to speed and get a ticket.  
At the hospital, and after having Deuce fight with the now scared of Deuce clerk, Ace met up with Seven and Sice sitting at the waiting room.  
“Can I see him?” Ace asked as soon as he got close to girls.  
“Yeah but Ace………” Seven started as Ace halted at the closed door.  
“What is it?” Ace asked.  
“Kurasame is…………well………let’s just say he’s not all there……….” Seven said as Sice decided to put in bluntly.  
“Your boyfriend is missing a few things.” Sice stated as Ace hesitantly opened the door.  
There was a few machines nearby, hooked up to Kurasame who was sitting up, blanket draped over his shoulders, looking out as a light snow began falling, only turning to look at Ace when he was right beside his bed.  
Sice and Seven were right he was missing 2 things that Ace could see, his left arm and leg, both cleanly cut off, but that wasn’t all.  
“Kurasame….you’re……” Ace started, as the two made eye contact and held it for what seemed like an hour but was only a minute.  
Ace hesitated once he saw the blank look from his boyfriend.  
“I’m sorry. But who are you?” was the only reply Ace got after a few moments.  
Ace’s world that had been mended, was shattered once more.  
He had been forgotten.  
*****  
Even though Ace should be feeling despair, Ace was happy at least Kurasame was here……….well………somewhat here but that was okay with him.  
Rem and Deuce looked worried on how Ace would act since the crash had taken Kurasame’s memories with it. But they saw Ace instead, lay his head on Kurasame’s right shoulder ignoring how the man grew a little livid and hugged him.  
“I’m so glad…….you came back……..” Ace spoke even though those words probably meant nothing to the other.  
“You’re mistaken……I’ve never met you……um……” Kurasame said as Ace looked up with their faces 2 inches apart.  
“Ace.”  
“Ace…..I think you have the wrong perso-“ Kurasame was cut off as Ace put a finger to the other’s lips.  
“No I don’t. It’s you, you just can’t remember me because of the crash……don’t worry, I’ll help you remember.” Ace spoke as Kurasame settled down a bit.  
A few seconds of silence pasted before Kurasame asked, “How can you help me remember?”  
Ace was dumbfounded at this before smiling lightly and saying, “Touch me.”  
Kurasame stared at Ace as if he told him he a chocobo before lifting his right arm slowly and letting it rest on Ace’s left cheek.  
Ace slowly lifted both his hands to hold Kurasame’s before leaning more into Kurasame’s touch and sighing softly.  
“See Kurasame? Can you recognize this feeling?” Ace asked, his eyes on the other who was staring back at Ace.  
He could feel a nostalgic feeling that could possibly be what Ace asked about and he smiled a little before saying,  
“Yes.”  
****  
When the rest of Class Zero came to visit, they saw Ace talking to Kurasame, slowly telling him as much as he could remember.  
The responses he got were, “Really, I did that?”, “Okay…..”, or “I still can’t remember doing that.”  
Ace smiled lightly, as he held the other man’s hand, rubbing small circles on it absentmindedly. He found it slightly funny that Kurasame would make dumbfounded expressions when he was confused at his past memories.  
Class Zero looked from beyond the door, with Cinque, Deuce, and Queen talking to the doctor. Seven and Sice trying to stop Nine from attacking a nurse that rudely bumped into him, King and Eight trying not to laugh at how Nine was being handled by two girls, Cater talking to Trey with Machina and Rem, and Jack going off to get snacks in the hospital cafeteria.  
The doctor then excused herself from the girls, and entered the room. Ace and Kurasame turned to look at the doctor patiently standing there.  
“Hello Kurasame, I’m your doctor, Yuika, I’ll be checking your arm and leg now.” Dr. Yuika said as Ace got up. “Don’t worry your girlfriend can stay here. It’s a quick check.”  
Ace sat back down before registering that the doctor called him a girl, probably because he borrowed one of Rem’s jackets which was too big on her.  
Kurasame snickered at that comment as Ace shot Kurasame a playful glare as the doctor unwrapped the bandages covering the severed parts as Ace looked away from the gory display.  
“Are you in pain?” Dr Yuika asked as Kurasame shook his head.  
“Not since the nurse gave me pain killers earlier.” Kurasame answered as the doctor nodded as a nurse came in with bandages.  
Dr. Yuika and the nurse rewrapped the bandages and left a glass of water with pain killers nearby in case before leaving to tend to another patient.  
“Even though I still can’t remember you or my past……..the feelings are still there…” Kurasame said as Ace gripped his hand lovingly.  
“It’s alright……time can restore them……that’s what Queen says…..” Ace said, laying his head on Kurasame’s right shoulder.  
******  
At 8 pm Ace and everyone was kicked out since visiting hours were over, Ace stayed at Deuce’s house who was willing to allow the blonde to stay with her and Cinque since they lived closer to the hospital by a block.  
But the bomb hit at 12:30 am on Christmas Eve.   
The phone call went like this:  
Nurse: Hello? Aren’t you the girlfriend of Kurasame Susaya?  
Ace: Yes, (he ignore the girlfriend part) I am. Did something happen?  
Nurse: I’m very sorry.  
Ace: What for?  
Nurse: Your boyfriend’s wounds are infected, and the infection is spreading fast…..he might not make it.  
Ace: …….  
Nurse: The doctors are performing surgery to see where they can cut off the infection before it reaches a high fatality…..but for now you can only pray for a miracle………  
Ace: He’ll make it.  
Nurse: Huh?  
Ace: He’ll make it, I believe in him.  
Nurse: If you say so, then it can happen, but keep in mind if he doesn’t………..then you have my condolences.  
And then Ace hung up, he kept chanting quietly to himself, “He’ll make it, he’ll make it, he’ll make it.” Again and again as Deuce and Cinque who had woken up a few minutes into the call, looked worried as they saw one of their good friends fall apart.  
****  
Ace went alone to the hospital that same day when the nurse told him that the surgery was finished.   
He hesitated at the door, but opened it after trying to mentally prepare himself.  
Kurasame was lying there, sleeping but with one of those breathing masks and machines linked up to him.  
Ace sat by him, in one of those infection prevention outfits you had to wear when you entered a patient’s room after they had surgery.  
Kurasame was a lot paler than he had last seen him, and seemed more uncomfortable.   
Ace wondered how this happened, when yesterday he seemed just fine. Gently, Ace lifted the other’s right hand in his gloved one, allowing their fingers to interlace as Ace leaned over the side of the bed, allowing silent tears to drop on the bed sheets.  
Dr Yuika and the nurse had watched this scene before many times, but like all of them before, this one hit like a ton of bricks.  
******  
At 3 pm, Kurasame woke up, completely dazed. He felt another’s hand though gloved, interlaced with his own, and turned his head over to register Ace’s blond head, near his right shoulder.   
They boy was asleep, but Kurasame squeezed Ace’s hand back as he turned to look around taking note of the many machines around him.  
He felt Ace stir near him, and looked at the boy who was blinking a lot to get rid of sleepiness.  
When Ace registered that Kurasame was indeed awake, he straightened up a little embarrassed.  
“Did I wake you?” Kurasame asked, though the oxygen mask made it hard to hear.  
Ace shook his head before asking, “Are you okay?”  
“I will be when I get this mask off……and everything aches……..” Kurasame spoke as Ace chuckled.  
“You can’t take off the oxygen mask, it’s helping you breathe…..who knows what might happen if you did…..the aching I have no idea how to fix.” Ace said as Kurasame rolled his eyes.  
“He tried to remove his oxygen mask before earlier too.” Dr Yuika said as she entered the room with a bottle of pills, “If we allowed him to take it off he would’ve suffocated.”  
“See Kurasame, you should keep it on. Listen to the doctor.” Ace scolded, which the other replied with another eye roll and squeezing Ace’s hand tighter.  
“Whatever…..”Kurasame said as Ace laughed.  
*********  
Ace left the hospital at 8 pm once the visiting hours were over, reminding himself to thank Cinque with cookies for taking over his shift at the coffee shop earlier.  
He hummed as he entered Deuce’s house, where Cinque pounced him saying most of the customers today were being ‘grumpy bums’ before asking how Kurasame was doing.  
Deuce was at work, being a music teacher was hard, especially with some troublesome ‘brats’. So to entertain Cinque, Ace told her what happened.  
At around 9 pm, Deuce came back and glomped Ace before demanding details which Cinque did the honor of telling her so the blonde could call Rem and Seven to tell them instead.  
Ace smiled at Cinque and Deuce laughing and talking, looking forward to seeing Kurasame again for Christmas, even if it was spent in the hospital.  
*****  
At 4:30 am, Christmas morning the phone rang again.  
“Hello?” Ace asked, as Cinque and Deuce stood by.  
“I’m afraid, something has come up……” The nurse said.  
“It can’t be--“ Ace spoke.  
“I’m afraid to say but yes, despite our efforts, your boyfriend, Kurasame has pasted on at 2:30 am, his breathing had stopped at 2:29 am and his heart stopped beating a minute later……I’m sad to say but this unfortunate event is a twisted Christmas gift……” The nurse said, but Ace dropped the phone, before falling to his knees, Cinque automatically got near him placing a hand on his shoulder.  
Deuce picked up the phone, but Ace tuned out what she was saying to the nurse. Cinque had tissues nearby as Ace let tears fall, before it broke into noisy sobs as Cinque joined him with her own tears. Deuce had tears falling as well as she talked to the nurse in Ace’s place.  
“Kurasame…….Kurasame…………Kurasame!” Ace cried out, as if the other would answer him if he called out, as he gripped the carpet.  
Ace looked back at the memories, from their first date, to kiss, to getting his friends’ consent to their relationship (Nine and Machina unwilling at first), to seeing the man leave to work on the other side of the world on a plane, to their late night Skype calls, their ‘I love you’ texts at the randomest times of day, the Christmases and birthdays spent apart only using Skype to greet each other, his graduation, and lastly his visits to the hospital.  
“I never said good-bye…………I never told him I loved him one last time!” Ace sobbed as more waterworks came down. “If I could just have one more day, even just one hour or less, I would’ve told him…..”  
“Acey…..” Cinque said between tears.  
“But it’s too late………he’s not coming back…….he’s never coming back!” Ace cried as Deuce and Cinque could only hold their friend as support.  
****  
Rem came over hours later, as Ace sat looking out the window looking empty and sullen. Rem had a bag with Kurasame’s stuff from the hospital that had survived the crash.  
She hesitated on giving Ace the bag, who only stared at the bag with an empty expression as he accepted it.  
A conversation was exchanged between the girls as Ace sunk deeper into the void of emptiness he felt.  
Rem took an unwilling Ace home, where he flopped on the couch leaving the bag in his bedroom. Before staring at the ceiling for hours on end, wondering how people can cope with losing loved ones with reminders of them everywhere, Ace couldn’t even look at his phone without remembering Kurasame’s messages to him.  
And that the other man hated text messages, since their brief and he couldn’t hear Ace’s voice.  
Ace absentmindedly dialed Kurasame’s phone number, listening to its rings before it went to voice mail.  
Hearing his voice made Ace miss him more, as he listened to pre-recorded message.  
“Sorry, I can’t come to the phone right now. Leave a message and I might get back to you.” It was a simple blunt message, but Ace liked it nonetheless, it was in Kurasame’s voice after all.  
Ace tossed his phone to the couch as he went to get the door that was being knocked on like a rampaging behemoth.  
Machina was on the other side, automatically Ace was grabbed in a hug as Machina apologized to Ace as if it was his fault Kurasame died.  
Ace felt tears at the apology for some reason, Machina was apologizing for something that couldn’t possibly have been caused by him and Ace appreciated it.  
He hugged Machina back, as he cried into Machina’s sweater.  
****  
The funeral was on January 12, planning was from Kazusa and Emina, Kurasame’s friends that Ace had met a couple times over Skype.  
Once the service was over, with people saying condolences to Kurasame’s lifeless body inside the casket, Ace was pulled to the side by Emina.  
“Did you get his gift?” she asked.  
“Gift?” Ace asked confused.  
Emina shook her head, not disappointed but not approved of either.  
“He left you a message, I think he had it in his coat pocket, Kazusa told me you still have his stuff that he had in the crash that was still intact, when you get home, look for it.” Was all Emina would say before making Ace promise to talk to her and Kazusa time to time.  
When Ace got home, he searched for the bag which he had kept in his closet, pulling it out.  
He carefully pulled out the contents, which was his jacket and shirt, both had the left side almost completely gone, the pants he wore with one leg missing as well, and his cell phone.  
Ace hugged the shirt close, smelling the faint scent of the cologne the other always wore before sighing and moving to the pants.  
His wallet was lost in the crash apparently and there was nothing important in the pockets, unless you counted the rumpled business cards.  
Ace moved to the jacket before, hesitatingly rummaging through the left pocket where he pulled out a slightly charred photo of himself and Kurasame at his graduation.  
He smiled at the memory before putting the photo to the side and looking in the right side.  
He automatically felt a small package and a card in there which he pulled out.  
Ace set the slightly damaged package to the side and opened the card.  
The message was clear:  
Dear Ace,  
I know for the past years I have been a bad partner to you even though you argue otherwise, but this time I’m going to make it up to you, my only wish is to make you happy forever. When you open this gift I give you, I hope I can make the message clear.  
Ace stopped reading to look at the wrapped package and tore it open slowly. Inside was a small box, and Ace knew automatically what it was.  
He turned back to the card to read:  
I want us to be together forever and as soon as I finish my last job here, Ace, would you do me the honor of marrying me?  
Ace felt tears fall as Kurasame had signed the letter with, ‘I love you until the stars stopped being as bright as you’, which was both corny and dorky of the other man.  
Ace clutched the letter as he let the tears fall and closing his eyes, hugging the card as he felt like someone was behind him, he didn’t even have to open his eyes to know who it was as he felt two cold arms light as a feather hug him from behind.  
Ace quietly said, before the spirit could fade away forever, “Yes.”  
He then opened his eyes as he saw the vague outline of his lover stand in front of him, before he disappeared with one last message:  
“Never forget, I love you Ace.”   
Ace could only look on as he looked forward to being reunited with the other man, all while wearing the gift the other had left him as he married another knowing Kurasame, though not happy it wasn’t him would watch over him as he and Machina kissed to seal their new relationship after a few years with crying but happy friends celebrating.  
“Are you sure Kurasame won’t kill me for marrying you?” Machina asked as Ace looked at him.  
“He wants me to be happy no matter what he has to sacrifice, so Machina…….” Ace spoke as he looked at the other.  
“What is it?” Machina asked as he and Ace walked down the aisle.  
“Make me happy until the day I can see him again, okay?” Ace asked.  
“That’s what I plan to do.” Machina said.  
The two walked hand in hand, leaving behind the past, but Ace not forgetting the one he used to love.


End file.
